Top 10 Barney Stinson Quotes

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How I Met Your Mother is a CBS show that is incredibly popular, and is syndicated on a variety of channels. The show is currently on the air, and has been for nine seasons. The show deals with a group of friends, and narrates the life of a man who met his future wife, hence the title. One of the main characters on the show, and perhaps the most memorable, is Barney Stinson, a character played by actor Neil Patrick Harris. He is a young, single man with great taste in clothing and a killer sense of humor. Because of that, he has compiled plenty of incredible quotes throughout the years that people have enjoyed. Fans of the show will recognize these top 10 Barney Stinson quotes, while newcomers to the show might find themselves tuning in.

Barney Stinson

Top 10 Barney Stinson Quotes

1) “God, it’s me, Barney. What’s up? I know we don’t talk much, though a lot of girls call out your name because of me.”

This quotes shows the cocky sense of humor that Barney Stinson has. Even in an attempt to humble himself and talk to his creator, he can’t help but let the ladies man in him shine through.


2) “Can’t talk my way out of a speeding ticket? I am Barney Stinson, master of manipulation. If I can talk a stripper into paying me for a lap dance, I can talk my way out of a speeding ticket.”

This quote, again, shows Barney Stinson’s love for the ladies, allowing with his confidence and belief in himself. He’s facing a bad situation that can ruin anybody’s day, but has full confidence in himself and knows that he will prevail? Why? Well, because he’s Barney Stinson.


3) “Think of me like Yoda, but instead of being little and green I wear suits and I’m awesome. I’m your bro—I’m Broda!”

He’s a well dressed man, is awesome and he knows it. Nuff said.


4) “In my body, where the shame gland should be, there is a second awesome gland. True story.”

This quote goes above and beyond to paint a picture of just how full of himself Barney Stinson is. He states that he is shameless, but unlike most mere mortals, he literally has a physical composition that causes him to exude awesomeness. He’s full of himself, but in a way that is endearing, and that you can’t help but laugh at.


5) “Being single is like a post-apocalyptic wasteland where it’s every man for himself. After nine years of captivity, that is my greatest lesson to you.”

This is Barney’s attempt at motivation, as he passes on his wisdom to another person making their way in the journey of love and single life.


6) “You don’t bring a date to a wedding. That’s like taking a deer carcass on a hunting trip.”

We’ve heard the “bringing sand to the beach” expression, which is similar to this Barney Stinson quote. He has his own take on it.


7) “Suits are full of joy. They are the sartorial equivalent of a baby’s smile.”

Few things in life bring joy to your heart like the smile of a newborn. Well, Barney Stinson loves his suits in that same manner, and expresses as much.


8) “There are so many things to do with the human mouth. Why waste it on talking?”

Talk is cheap for Barney Stinson. And true to his nature, he can’t pass up a moment to allude to his sexual prowess.


9) “The camera loves me. More than loves me. The camera lusts me. The camera wants to put on some nice lingerie, pop in an Al Green CD, dim the lights and do me, as I lie there with my eyes closed.”

He could have just said that he is very photogenic, but that wouldn’t be enough for Barney Stinson. Instead, he swings for the fences, uses a variety of metaphors and paints a picture that viewers won’t forget.


10) “Daddy’s home.”

Barney has uttered this catch phrase on more than one occasion, and has become a staple of his character. The mark of a quality sitcom is its characters, and these top 10 Barney Stinson quotes show that one of its main characters has plenty of personality to go around!


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